AnneOnParenting

I am continually at a loss on how one child seems to get the concept of money and another seems oblivious.  I say seems as I cannot believe they do not get it as well.  Let us start with Lulu.  Lulu seems to get the value of money or the lack thereof.

After their father and I divorced their father floundered a bit with work and living arrangements.  After settling into a semi-decent job and an extremely small apartment, lovingly referred to as “the box”, their father still did not seem to get it when it came to money.  If he had it he spent it.  If he was broke, well, he was still figuring out a way to get what he needed.  Lulu was only in the beginning stages of her elementary school years yet she knew this was not the best way to live.  I was surprised when a year and a half after the death of her father, while attending a weekend retreat for children who have lost a loved one, Lulu said he needed to motivate himself to live somewhere other than a box.  Frankie seemed to be blinded by love for her father and Benny was too little to remember much of anything.

 This does not take away from any of their wants, but I do recognize a definite distinction between want and need.  Yes, this is a taught trait.  When any of them say they need something they are immediately asked why it is a need and if it is really a want.  Sometimes I get the smart remarks, in a joking manner, of course.  And sometimes they are quite honest and correct themselves.  And imagine hearing this get turned around on mom when I say I need something when I really do not need much of anything.

So, this brings me back to how does one get it and the others act as if they do not.  Maybe I have set the bar too high.  Maybe I have allowed one to do or have something and now that money is tight the others have to do without.  Is that not how it happens?  I mean, I do put something aside for each of them monthly by way of  their savings accounts.  Does this mean they have to go on every school trip that comes along?

Then there are the moments when one who seems to not get it shows you she really got it all along, but was waiting for her moment to reveal this knowledge.  Frankie has been waiting and wanting to go on the band spring trip her senior year ever since she was in eighth grade and knew she wanted to be in the high school band.  She went last year.  I was only allowing them to attend one year due to cost, but things were okay financially so I felt two years would be okay.  But this year’s trip has had some hang ups and she is not that interested in going anymore.  I am thrilled as the $400 plus price tag was a bit stressful.  She said she would much rather go on the senior trip, a mere $40 or $60.  I am so proud.  And now I know she understands the value of money.

Benny knows but seems to feel left out and wants things anyway, sometimes.   Patience is all I can ask of him.  Patience that things will get better and he will get more opportunities.  He is only in seventh grade.  He still gets to go on field trips and do fun things.  But $75 for a four-week soccer clinic is a bit too high right now, or ever!  I would not have done that for either of his sisters either.  He should have taken me up on the trumpet when he had the chance.

One way I have found does teach the value of money is at the store.  Lulu and I went to three stores today for our weekly groceries, etc.  It is something to watch a child’s eyes light up at the thought of a good deal.  Many do better than I, but it was fun anyway.  You can read all about it at my other blog, AnneOnLife. It is nice when your child looks at you and says, “Mom, you did good.”  And I did.  I saved a little over $48 using coupons and taking a little time to shop around.  What a great way to instill the value of money.